The Currency of Relationships: How Money Shapes Blood and Non-Blood Bonds

Money is not just paper, coins, or numbers in a bank account. It is energy. It flows through our lives quietly, like a river, sometimes nourishing relationships, sometimes flooding them, and often leaving behind cracks that are hard to repair.

We like to believe that love, respect, and trust are the foundations of relationships — and they are. But somewhere, hidden behind affectionate words and family rituals, money has always played its silent part.

This is not merely about wealth or poverty. It is about how money shapes the way we love, forgive, resent, or even walk away from those closest to us.

Let me share a few stories.

When Money Runs in the Blood: Family Ties

The Story of Two Brothers

In a small town, two brothers inherited their father’s land. The elder, Rajesh, worked hard, built a home, and sent his children to good schools. The younger, Suresh, struggled with debts and leaned on his brother often.

For years, Rajesh supported him — paying school fees, helping with hospital bills. But when their father’s ancestral land had to be divided, Suresh accused Rajesh of “taking the bigger share.” Neighbors still recall how the brothers, once inseparable, now avoid even crossing paths.

The irony? The land’s worth was far less than the years of love lost between them.

• “In India, nearly 70% of civil cases are related to property disputes, most of them within families.” — National Judicial Data Grid, 2022

  
  

Parents and Unequal Love

Another story comes from Meena, a young woman in her thirties. She confessed once, “My parents love my brother more because he earns more.”

Her brother, living abroad, sends money home regularly. Over time, she began to feel invisible. Birthday wishes became WhatsApp forwards, while expensive gifts from her brother became the highlight of every family gathering.

She still loves her parents deeply, but she carries the quiet ache of knowing that in their eyes, money has tipped the scales of affection.

Lesson: In families, money often becomes a hidden yardstick — measuring love, respect, and even “worthiness.” But when it does, the relationships themselves begin to lose their natural warmth.

Friends, Love, and Money

Friendship Tested by a Loan

Rahul and Amit were best friends since college. They shared dreams, meals, and heartbreaks. One day, Amit asked Rahul for a loan — not much, just enough to cover his rent after losing a job.

Rahul gave it gladly. Months passed. No repayment, no explanation. Slowly, Rahul began to feel bitterness creep in. Their conversations grew shorter, their laughter faded. Today, they barely exchange pleasantries.

It wasn’t the money that ended their friendship. It was the silence around it — the unspoken wound.

“Lending money to friends is the quickest way to lose both.” — Benjamin Franklin

The Love Story with Two Wallets

Ritu and Sameer were in love. They married against their families’ wishes, hoping love would conquer all. But over time, their different financial habits began to show. Ritu saved meticulously, Sameer spent lavishly.

Arguments about bills turned into accusations about “values.” Their love didn’t vanish overnight, but the constant stress of money chipped away at their bond.

One evening, Ritu told a friend, “It’s not that I don’t love him anymore. It’s that we’ve stopped feeling safe with each other — financially and emotionally.”

And she wasn’t alone.

A U.S. survey by Ramsey Solutions revealed that money fights are the second leading cause of divorce, after infidelity.

Lesson: Friendships and romantic relationships are most vulnerable where money and silence meet. It’s not just how much we have, but how openly we talk about it that makes or breaks the bond.

The Social Mirror: Status and Inequality

Beyond families and lovers, money creates invisible circles in society.

• A childhood friend may no longer invite you to his lavish birthday parties because your gift “won’t match the crowd.”

• A couple may feel pressured to take loans for a grand wedding — not for themselves, but to “prove” their status.

• Social gatherings, destination weddings, branded gifts — all often become unspoken competitions that leave quieter hearts feeling “less.”

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” — Will Rogers

This is the cruelest trick money plays — making us feel inferior or superior, not based on our character, but on our wallet.

Navigating Money Without Breaking Bonds

So, what can we do? Are we forever at the mercy of this silent currency in our relationships? Not necessarily. Here are a few reflections:

1. Practice Transparency

Whether in families, friendships, or marriages — speak openly about money. Borrowed money, shared expenses, inheritances — clarity today saves tears tomorrow.

2. Set Boundaries Without Guilt

Saying “no” to unreasonable demands doesn’t make you less loving. It makes you wise. A relationship that only survives when you keep paying is not a relationship; it is a transaction.

3. Invest Beyond Currency

Shared meals, honest conversations, small acts of care — these are deposits in the emotional bank account of a relationship. Unlike money, these never depreciate.

4. Detach Money from Worth

A sibling who earns less, a friend who cannot give costly gifts, a spouse who is between jobs — none of them is “less valuable.” Human worth cannot be calculated in currency.

Conclusion: The Real Currency

At the end of the day, money is just one form of currency. The real wealth of a relationship is trust, respect, laughter, shared memories, and compassion.

Money can buy a bed, but not sleep. It can buy medicine, but not healing. It can buy gifts, but not genuine love.

When we begin to see relationships through the lens of money alone, we turn them into transactions. But when we see money as just one of many tools — and not the measure of love — we allow bonds to breathe freely.

Perhaps the real “saar” is this:

Money should flow through relationships like water through roots — nourishing quietly, not drowning the tree.

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” — Epictetus

I am sure after reading this, you should pause and reflect: “Do I value my loved ones for who they are, or for what they bring into my life materially?”

Because in the end, the richest relationships are those that cannot be bought or sold.