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How to deal with insecurity?

Updated: Jul 16, 2023

Do you have a tendency to feel insufficient, unworthy, and doubtful of your abilities? please understand that you are not alone.


We all feel doubts, and uncertainty and are often hit with big terrifying questions like '' what am I doing with life? or where am I going with my career? and am I making enough money for my family?''.

Inadequacy and self-loathing can strike us at any age or stage of life. It can be brought on by past traumas, a difficult childhood, a competitive environment, or even scrolling through social media for hours(The more we see on social media, the more we believe that life is about luxury bags, cars, and glam).


We feel we are not enough, not beautiful enough, or not smart enough but even the most perfect being is insecure about something.

How to face insecurity

What causes insecurity?


Insecurity may stem from a lack of confidence, feeling of powerlessness and inferiority. But in the modern world, it's mainly because we care for outwardly appearance, social media set standards, and competition surrounding us.


We are so focused on meeting society's so-called standards that we have lost sight of the value of individuality adding ''the fear of getting exposed as a fraud'' which is known as imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome and insecurity are only slightly different.

In it you start to fake your way out of everything in your life when you don't feel worthy, or when you don't give yourself enough credit.


You start to wear a skin you aren't comfortable in and a mask to deceive others, to please others but who are you really deceiving? who will be affected in the end? that's right it's you who will ultimately suffer.

Feel insecure due to social media

Downfalls of being insecure

  • You become so preoccupied with being perfect that you lose sight of your true self. Perfection is a myth. It's what society expects of you. You are not "perfect," but no one is, and that does not make you worthless or rejected; rather, it is what makes you unique.


  • You start to stress over small things.


  • people will take advantage of you.


  • A pursuit of perfection will never leave you satisfied with your accomplishments.


  • Every new challenge will make you nervous. It will be difficult for you to leave your comfort zone.


People who are chronically insecure may behave in the following ways:

  1. Constantly comparing themselves with other people.

2. Self-sabotaging (unknowingly harming their chances of success)


3. Being jealous of others and their success which in turn makes them bitter human beings.


4. Being unable to take criticism and therefore they become self-defensive.


5. They always seek other people's approval and validation.


6. By blaming others, they fail to acknowledge their own mistake. Their relationship with their partner is strained as a result.


Insecurity in a relationship-


An insecure person can single-handedly sabotage their relationship with their partner be it a man or a woman.

Jealousy, petty competitiveness, and fear of attachment (because of past relationships) act like diseases hollowing out a perfect and content relationship.


You can experience that you are immediately outraged, hurt, and you are terrified that your partner may leave you.


3 ways to cope with insecurities

3 ways to cope with insecurity

Assess your triggers

List out things that emotionally drain you out, and make you feel insecure. Is it the online body images that make you feel imperfect or your all-achieving distant cousin, or is it the fear of your parent's disappointment that leaves you with a negative self-image?


Once you find out the cause think about how to respond to these situations. Accept your imperfections and surround yourself with people who support you.


Work on your body language

Our body language gives us away like constant tapping of our feet, chewing of lips, and not knowing what to do with our hands while talking are some of the many gestures that make us look nervous and submissive.

We all are nervous maybe before a huge meeting while giving answers in the class or meeting a new date but you don't have to show it. We all just assume that people are laughing at us and can see right through us, but this is simply not the case.


Many people are so preoccupied with their own problems that they have no idea how you feel until you give them a reason to believe that you are nervous and anxious. Maintain eye contact, correct your posture, and always speak your mind to stay true to your beliefs and people will respect you for it.


Practice self-love

We chase after money, and beauty and become ungrateful for what we already have. So write your achievements, and pen down our gratitude for your family, friends, or your partner.


Thank the almighty for all the strength that has kept you going so far. Instead of focusing solely on your failures, consider all that you have accomplished.


Maintain a healthy body by exercising, practicing yoga, or walking in nature, practicing mindfulness, and prioritizing your time.


In a nutshell


Insecurity does not make you a weak person; it may cause difficulties in your everyday life and fill you with self-disgust, but it can also be viewed as something that keeps you grounded, something that challenges you.

Never compare yourself to others because you are the challenge. Instead of pushing your feelings away, embrace them ,ask yourself why you feel this way and take action so you can become better version of yourself.

About the author


Priti Kumari Rajak is a new content writer with an English major. She was born on May 26, 2003, in Kharagpur, West Bengal, and is currently in Bhubaneswar for her graduation. She reads a lot and could probably talk about books all day. She is always eager to learn new skills and never cowers away from hard work. She is a dedicated and orderly individual who has a passion for writing.


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